Saturday, February 08, 2003 at 1:30 PM ♥ Sarahdee ♥
hmmz..see e time! it's 1.14pm..woke up not long ago..went drinking yesterday..
went dwn boat quay with cousin & cj..as we walked, i heard lion dance drummings & stuff..so i prayed hard it wuld not be his troupe..fuck it loh! coincidentally, it was his dance troupe.
we stood there to wait till e lion dance was over..i saw him. he din see me..after waiting for more than 1/2 hr..e lion dance stopped. i walked pass him, he was shocked to see me..but he din say a word. NOT a word.
my heart was aching. really aching. went to madmonks..sat there, feeling ultra upset..decided to ask my cousin to walk with me to boathouse again..he was sitting at e chair..i asked him to come over & asked wad he wants..he said he dun wan anytink now & tat when he's free den we'll talk abt us..wad e fuck!?
den alice came along..den they talked. alice told his frenz i was his gf..he denied & said alice was talking nonsense! can u imagine how i felt? can anyone noe how i feel? i culdnt cry..
den drank at madmonks..after alice fren came, we went to chocolate bar & continued drinking..drank quite alot..culdnt really walk properly after e whole sance ended which was 2.45am. reached hme..culdnt slp..close my eyes..i see him..fuck manz..slept at 7.00am..din puke tis time but head was ultra heavy & floaty..i guessed it's time to let go..if i din see him yesterday...EVERYTHING wuld be FINE.
y is he doing tis to me?!
y muz he be so heartlesS?
he denied me as his gf..
how do u wan me to accept tis!
i fucking hell nid him to get lost!
i dun wish to see him or hear frm him anymore!!
can u pls go.......& nv come baq?
i dun nid contradictions..
all i nid is u.
but u're not even wanting me..
so y do i even bother to gif a damn abt u?
let me tell u tis again..
"i AM HEALING! GET LOST!!!!!!"
in my past..
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