Saturday, July 08, 2006 at 11:06 AM ♥ Sarahdee ♥

i haven really talk abt my current r/s in this blog. i seldom blog abt negative stuffs of my current r/s. because i believe that we are happy tgt and that those negative stuffs are minor and we should "forgive and forget" after talking abt it.


but, im going thru a really rough patch now. i really dunno wad to do. it's not like there's a 3rd party. if there's really a 3rd party, there's not nid to think so much. just break up. Fortunately or Unfortunately, it's about his job. too career minded. i have faith in him. i believe that he will become a good chef. everyday at work, he invests more than 15hrs. by the time he's done with work. he's so damn tired already. so when he meets me, he looks tired and stoned. that makes me feel like shit. if ya tired, den go home and slp. but to him, he just wants to see me, even if it's just for a while.


i know he's trying to juggle with many things at a time. i know he's trying his best to be a good bf. but he's not sensitive towards my feelings, my behaviour, at all. and whenever i try talking to him abt all these, he will say "let's cool off, i have alot of other things on my mind". HELLO. we're not kids anymore. we do not cool off den get back, cool off den get back. it's gonna be bad if this becomes a routine. whenever u feel pressured and stressed at work, u just wanna cool off cuz u cant handle me anymore. this is just ridiculous.


and he hates talking abt the future. or rather, our future. he will say " i dun see a future in myself, what more, in us?" HELLO. den why are u with me!? i SO DO NOT GET IT. DO ALL YA BFs OUT THERE SAY THIS? or DO THEY SEE THEMSELVES HAVING LITTLE CHILDREN WITH YOU? haha.


i dun want to be numb to this situation. if i am, it's gonna be bad. i dun understand why things turn out like that. i do see a future with him. i do see myself having kids with him. or issit that every girl see their bf as potential husband? i dunno man. i just want to be happy. do u know that my heart hurts whenever he looks at me and says "i tink we should cool off". WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS SHIT. i hope it's not a fucking KARMA. cuz i did this to my ex bf. but he stood by me liked how i stand by cory now. but in e end, he still cannot take it. and it was during my attachment period. fuck fuck fuck.


on a lighter note, i've got curly hair. i like.

in my past..

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